The other day I stumbled upon a commercial so masterfully stuffed with euphemisms that I had to write about it on the internet. It’s about a guy named بدري (“Early”) who has an issue that affects both him and his ladyfriend. I’ve written out a transcription & translation of the commercial and discussed a few useful words in Egyptian Arabic at the end of the post so you all can have a productive laugh. Also, anyone with insight as to why a man appears on the back of the motorcycle in a fuzzy animal costume around 0:15 gets five gold stars.
Transcription & Translation:
بصي يا فتحية انا لمعتلك المكنة, ومليت التنك, وهنتفسح النهارده طول اليوم
Look Fatheya, I polished the machine for you and filled the tank, so we’re going to go out and have fun all day!
!يااااا دا انا من زمان نفسي اتفسح
Wow, I’ve wanted to go out and have fun for a long time!
وأنا كمان. يلا اركبي يلا يلا
Me too! Come on, get on, come on come on!
انت على طول كدا مستعجل…يا بدري هو انا لحقت اركب؟؟
You’re always in such a hurry…Badry, did I even get on?!
ولا يهمك, الحل في الهرم
It’s alright! The solution is Haram.
مع الهرم, بدري بطل يجي بدري
With Haram, Badry stopped coming early. (Literally. This is literally what the video says.)
استشر طبيب أو صيدلي على الدواء المخصص لعلاج سرعة القذف
Consult a doctor or pharmacist on medicine specialized for treating early ejaculation.
لمّع – The word يلمع, without the shadda, means ‘to shine.’ So the causative form II used in the video means ‘to make shine’ or polish. Hence لمعتلك المكنة = I made the machine shine for you.
يتفسح – This word is often used to talk about travelling and generally being out and about and having fun. Someone out there might have a better English translation for this word than the one I used, but I don’t think it really has a one word equivalent in English.
ياااا — An extended يااااااااا is often used to express surprise in Egyptian. Alternatively: يووووووووووو, always said with the same down-up-down intonation.
نفسي –This is a stronger way to say ‘I want’ than عايز, usually meaning something closer to ‘I desire’ or ‘I’ve always wanted to…’
لحق –This is a verb used most often in the context of ‘making’ a train or bus, for example. So هتعرف تلحق would mean, ‘Will you be able to make it?’ Here Fatheya is saying she didn’t get the chance to get on…if you know what I mean (insert winky face here).
يركب — Literally means ‘to ride’ and used to describe getting in a car, the metro, or a bus: ركبنا المترو مش تكس = We rode the metro, not a taxi.
ولا يهمك is what you usually say when someone accidentally bumps into you and apologizes.