Following up on our earlier explanation of a bunch of MSA words that sound ridiculous when used in real life, here are a few more:

1. بدون

Albeit a nice sounding word, no one says this in real life. In some dialects of Shami you might order your coffee من دون سكر (without sugar) but in Egypt من غير is most common.

2. أحيانا

The Egyptian word used to express ‘sometimes’ is actually ساعات (sa3at) which literally means ‘hours.’ Which sort of makes sense.

3. ادرس

If you’re trying to say that you want to study a bit, this would fly in Jordan if I’m not mistaken, but in Egypt, it sounds off. Instead, you would say: عايزة اذاكر شوية (ayza azaker shwaya). However, the root of this word appears in questions like, دراستك ايه؟ which means ‘What do you study/What is your field of study?’ The word اذاكر refers more to the actual act of sitting in the library and studying for a test rather that the more general concept of going to college and taking classes, if that makes sense.

4. كيف حالك \ انا بخير

Unless you are the real-life incarnation of Maha or Khaled or committed some horrible crime and were sentenced to a life of expressing yourself only in Al-Kitaab sentences, please spare us. Pro tip: Before you visit whatever Arab country you’re headed to, TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN THE GODDAMN GREETINGS. It will literally take twenty minutes, and you won’t sound like a dick. (Ala fekra, ya gam3a, stay tuned for a post on ‘How Not To Be An Asshole In Egypt,’ which will cover similar topics.)

 

A few more dubious subtitling choices that were recently brought to my attention:

Alternative translation for “girlfriend” = صديقة حميمة (‘Intimate friend’)

“Stripper” = راقصة (‘dancer’ with no further elaboration)

“Hey, motherfucker” = يا سافل (‘Varmint’ or ‘ratfish’ according to the omnipotent Google)

 “Fuck no!” = كلا يا سيدي (No, sir!)

All this aside, I will say that I once heard the English word (just the word!) ‘kiss’ censored out of some Bruno Mars song playing at City Mall in Jordan, so it could be much worse. Five gold stars for effort, subtitlers, wherever you may be.

Watching TV in Arabic is a fantastic way to get more listening practice and generally improve your vocabulary and comprehension, and I highly suggest all Arabic learners do this during their down time whenever possible. But when you get sick of that, or when there’s nothing to watch except Saudi men practicing falconry and Amr Adeeb flailing his arms about / having his weekly heart attack on air, you’ll inevitably find yourself flipping over to an English language movie. And I’m here to tell you how to make this experience quadruple the fun: pay attention to the subtitles.

This guy.

This guy. Amirite?

There are two things you’ll notice watching foreign films, especially those shown by MBC, which happens to be Saudi-owned: very obviously censored kissing scenes and highly suspect translations. In reality most channels have their own issues in this regard, like Mazzika, which made the questionable (yet also fantastic) decision to provide lyrics translations for all the music videos it shows–in Ke$ha’s Timber (خشب) “It’s going down,” is translated انها سوف تسقط while Alicia Keys’ This girl is on fire becomes هذه الفتاة متحمسة جدا (lit. ‘This girl is very excited.’) The salacious line ‘She say she love my lolly’ from Maejor Ali’s Lolly video is rendered simply انها تحبني كثيرا (lit. ‘She loves me very much’). In short, you have stumbled upon a pure gold mine of Fusha fails.

In terms of MBC subtitling, the sentence ‘He’s gay’ is consistently translated to انه غريب الاطوار (roughly ‘He’s whimsical/eccentric’) despite the fact that a word (مثلي) does, in fact, exist to express this concept in Modern Standard Arabic. The word girlfriend is expressed through the flat صديقة while “Wanna make out?” is butchered into هل تريدين الاستمتاع؟ (lit. ‘Do you want to enjoy?’), which, let’s be real, sounds way more sexual than the original.

And the colorful spectrum of English swears–every single permutation of inappropriate speech you could think of–is reduced to one of two options: تبا لك (screw you) and اللعنة عليك (‘damn you.’ Google translate also purports this to mean ‘by gosh!’).

In this way, taking care to read the subtitles while consuming foreign media in Egypt becomes an exercise in critiquing translations of cultural concepts that are fraught with controversy (romantic relationships before marriage, sexuality, even swearing). Fusha, in my opinion, will never be capable of accurately transmitting the gist of colloquial speech in any language, a sampling of its failings detailed above. Instead of carrying out its intended purpose–actually, you know, translating the text–the use of Modern Standard Arabic to subtitle foreign films and music ends up providing another unintentional layer of entertainment on top of your regularly scheduled program. And I guess that may not be such a terrible thing after all.

 

هات بق

hat bo2” (as said to a man. To a woman: haty)

 This post does not, as you might have expected, belong under the inappropriate tag. The phrase actually means a very innocent, “I want a bite.”

[For all my MSA-amiya transitioners out there, remember that ق often changes to hamza in amiya, hence no qaf sound in the transliteration.)

Almost relevant.

ايه وراك بكرة؟

eh warak bokra?

Like the infamous “You drink a cigarette?” this is one of those phrases that is so strange and confusing when you first hear it, you are struck with a blinding rage that makes you want to destroy the first copy of Hans Wehr you can get your hands on, because that shit is now dead to you. Confession: A language partner first asked me this almost a year and a half ago and I literally looked behind myself for a sec because I had no clue what he was saying. All it means is, “What do you have to do tomorrow / What are you doing tomorrow?”

جالي برد

galy bard

Actually means ‘I got a cold,’ but a super poetic way of expressing the thought to English-speaking ears. This structure works for all sorts of diseases that can ‘come’ to you, as well as various states of being, like: جاتلي حالة اكتئاب (something like, ‘a wave of depression washed over me,’). Interestingly, you can also take a cold:

انت لابس خفيف قوى, هتاخد برد كدا  = You’re not dressed warm (lit. ‘you are a very light dresser’–remember our friend ism fa3l), you’re going to get (take) a cold that way!

 

ايه كل الصواريخ دي؟

eh kol el swaree5 de?

For some reason I have not yet been able to pin down, in Egyptian Arabic, both inanimate objects and various types of waterfowl have strong associations to sexuality in the world of street harassment. صاروخ literally means missile or rocket, and since the phrase above uses the plural صواريخ, it would be used in reference to multiple babes (baes?).

ضحك علي

“da7ak alaya”

This phrase literally means “he laughed at me” but in practice translates roughly to “he screwed me over,” as in I was charged too much money for something. One of the most apt phrases I have personally encountered on my Arabic journey–you KNOW that guy let out an extended cackle of sweet satisfaction as your sorry khawaga ass trudged away out of sight.